Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Worst Five Horror Films of 2011!

2011 brought a lot of great horror films. From Stake Land to A Lonely Place to Die, there were a lot of films to watch and enjoy. 2011 also served up a lot of misery as well. Here at 28DLA, this reviewer has learned to dodge a few bullets in the movie world. Admittedly, this reviewer skipped Fred Andrews' Creature in theatres and the latest forced production of the Hellraiser series, titled Hellraiser: Revelations was also missed thanks to some early reviews. However a few films slipped under the radar or were shipped to the 28DLA HQ with little warning or previous info'. These are some of those films.

Some of the elements that made a terrible film this year were the inability to create tension or to create interesting characters. Without tension or thrills what is a horror film? As well, not providing any backstory for a character is a disservice to the character and the viewer. Poor acting and mediocre musical selections also helped place some of these films in the notorious list below. And one film will be remembered for sheer filmmaking incompetency. So, without further ado, "The Worst Films of 2011" are listed below beginning with the films that scored the lowest in 28DLA reviews.


Dir.: Carl Lindbergh.

Cast: Cheryl Texiera, Matthew Albrecht and Alaina Gianci.

This is a film whose trailer made this reviewer squeal with delight as a bunny costumed killer chased after characters with a chainsaw. This reviewer was sold! Then, the screener came and Carl Lindbergh pulled a bait-and-switch. Instead of excitement there were characters having a nap in a car. Instead of gory kills there were characters rolling their eyes and looking bored. Instead of an interesting story of cannibals there was no story at all and Lindbergh was probably directing from post-it notes. This was the lowest scoring movie this year at 28DLA and this reviewer was dumbfounded to learn that Bunnyman sold well through distributors Osiris Entertainment. Perhaps this reviewer was not the only one duped by the thrilling trailer.

Read the review for Bunnyman titled "Bunnyman and Incompetency" to find out how not to shoot a film:

The Bunnyman Review Here at 28DLA

The Roommate

Dir.: Christian E. Christiansen.

Cast: Minka Kelly, Leighton Meester and Cam Gigandet.

Ah, there is nothing better than listening to characters talk of Gucci bags and fashion for a half hour. That sarcasm aside, the filmmakers for this production were simply out to make money. There was no passion in this film nor creativity. Also, where was the tension? Watching this film felt like work as one female character unthreateningly stalked another female character. Then, eighty five minutes of monotony was broken up by a ridiculous finale to end this film with the thought: what the hell did I just watch! and a feeling of anger.

The Roommate reviewed on 28DLA:

"The Roommate and Time Wasted:" A Review


Dir.: Jordan Blum.

Cast: Martin Kove, Tony Becker and Lisa Wilcox

An '80s reunion involving actors Martin Kove and Tony Becker also involves ninety minutes of mediocrity as the film cannot find any tension. Admittedly, this is a low budget production, but could there not have been a night attack or two? This sasquatchploitation film keeps the creature off screen not to create mystery but in order to prevent viewers from seeing the creature's ridiculous plastic suit. Predictable and uninspiring, Savage scored a 5.4 out of 10 here on 28DLA.

A review of this film titled "Savage and a Sasquatch Schlocker" is here:

Savage Review on 28DLA

The Rig

Dir.: Peter Antencio.

Cast: William Forsythe, Stacey Hinnen and Serah D'Laine

Nothing beats watching an Aliens rip-off twenty plus years after the fact (more sarcasm). Creatures leak fluorescent blood to little affect while actor William Forsythe performs his usual crazy routine. Then, the only actor who can act is knocked off and there is still another seventy-five minutes to go. To keep you company is an annoying musical soundtrack that would have made most characters jump off the rig in the first act. Yet, the movie continues as men in rubber suits try their best to scare up a storm. This critic was not pulled in to the ridiculousness of it all.

A review of this film titled "The Rig and Sinking Like a Stone" is here:

The Rig Reviewed on 28DLA


Dir.: James D. R. Hickox.

Cast: David Carradine, Zelda Williams and Rachel Sterling.

It is just one humiliation after another for the late David Carradine. First his death and now one of his final performances is that of a know-nothing principal. The only "name" actor is not supported by a cast of relative unknowns as dir. James D. R. Hickox tries every known trope in the horror book. Detention is like a paint by numbers design where one cliche follows the last in predictable fashion. The no cellphone service routine is just the first in a long series of predictable elements added with little care or attention. Meanwhile, the film was slowly putting this reviewer to sleep. This film scored a measly 5.75 here on 28DLA to place it in the bottom 5% of films reviewed on this website.

A review of this movie called "Detention and Punishment" is below:

Detention Reviewed on 28DLA

So comes to a close another end of the year list. And before filmmakers and actors complain about finding their film on this list, you owe this reviewer an hour and a half of his time. Be thankful that this film fan does not know where you live; otherwise, an invoice for 1.5 of work would be coming to your address.

Also, final memorable "Worst Films" of 2011 in no particular order include: the boring Vanishing on 7th Street, the non-tense Zombie Diaries 2, the lackadaisical The Anniversary at Shallow Creek, the unwatchable The Bleeding, and the absolutely terrible My Soul to Take from Wes Craven. Filmmakers involved in these movies should really take a hard look at their filmmaking careers and try to find a way to apologize to horror film fans worldwide for these outings.

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