Sunday, May 01, 2016

The Horde Never Stood a Chance: A Film Review

*full disclosure: an online screener of this film was provided by an anonymous source.

Direct: Jared Cohn.

Writer: Paul Logan.

Cast: Paul Logan, Bill Moseley, Vernon Wells and Costas Mandylor.

From the director of Bikini Spring Break (2012) and Hulk Blood Tapes (2015) comes Jared Cohn's The Horde. The screenplay, via first time scriptwriter Paul Logan, is steeped in action and horror elements. Set for a coming-soon release through Video-on-demand, The Horde is a blend of other cannibals films, from the past. The film is also heavily focused on martial arts action elements. Meanwhile, one's gag reflex might be provoked by all of the limb and tongue cutting. The Horde is one horrifying camping and photography adventure gone very awry.

The Horde is reminiscent of a number of other films. This film viewer was most reminded of The Hills Have Eyes II (2007) as the military confronts a family of inbreeding cannibals. In The Horde, the protagonist, John (Paul Logan), is an ex-Navy Seal. Similarly, he faces off with another group of irradiated once human creatures, in a militaristic fashion. In both films, the villains hunger for human flesh. As well, one cannot help but notice the references to Rambo (1985), through the film's final act. John, trying to protect a group of students, uses his bow and arrow against more and more monsters. The score even sounds similar to this earlier George P. Cosmatos movie as John leaps out of a group of leaves. Another cannibal gets his just desserts. The Horde most resembles the Wrong Turn series of films, specifically Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009). In both films, convicts escape their prison bus. This time the convicts team up with the local creatures, in the woods, to tear the cast apart. Cannibals incite the action. The Horde wears its inspiration on its sleeve and somewhat proudly.

Gorehounds might rejoice once the film is released. There are a host of disturbing and gut-wrenching scenes. After John proposes to his fiance, Selina (Tiffany Brouwer), the crap hits the fan. One minor character has his Achilles tendon cut. Another character is strangled. Still, another has his tongue cut out, while others are turned into human jerky. Though, the cannibals drying techniques are a little primitive. The film is not done there. One character has all of his limbs removed as Earl, played by Vernon Wells (The Road Warrior), reminisces about the prime cuts, of the human body. This viewer clutched his stomach, but others might celebrate all of the bloodshed found here.

Finally, this film knows its strengths - martial arts actions scenes! The screenwriter and protagonist, Paul Logan, is a martial arts and stunts expert. Many of the film's conflicts revolve around John's ability to punch and kick his way out of trouble. When in doubt, it is best to start kicking the locals in the gonads or punching them in the ribs. There is very little hospitality in the local mountain towns, on both sides of the fence. John is also not interested in hostage negotiation. Instead, he puts arrows in almost anyone who crosses his path. Even three foot cripples are not safe from John's fuselage of raining arrow death. John is both hero and anti-hero in one. Who even needs villains?

The Horde is ready to punch its way into your living room this May 6th, 2016. Gravitas Ventures is handling the video-on-demand release and action or horror fans will want to take notice. Cannibals have never been treated so brutally. Still, the script lacks a number of elements. Missing are subplots, misdirections, surprises, character arcs, deep characterizations and authentic, believable interactions. In its place are a lot of brutal high flying punches and kicks, which streak blindingly fast across the screen. John is not someone you would want to go on a camping trip with; but, he is one hero who you would want watching your back in a town full of blood-thirsty cannibals.

Overall: 6.5 out of 10.

A trailer for the film is available here, on 28DLA: The Horde Trailer on 28DLA

Recommended release: Wrong Turn 3 at Amazon


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