The Top Five Worst Horror Films of 2010 are Given a Roast Here! ~ 28DLA

Okay, so this week we have covered the "Top Five Indie Horror Films," with an article found here: Best Indie Horror Films of 2010. Also covered was the "Top Five International Horror Films." An article on this posting is here: Top Five International Films. But, now we are exploring a more depraved side of horror, or a lower class of film. This top five list will cover the "Worst Five Horror Films of 2010!"

This year, there was so much to choose from in poor horror films. Abroad, we have the dismal Basement starring Danny Dyer and Jimi Mistry to the absolutely monstrosity of a film from Australia called Outback aka Prey starring the incapable Natalie Bassingthwaighte. Domestically, films like the Zombie Chronicles: The Infected made this reviewer want to scratch his eyes out, while others like Apocalypse of the Dead aka Zone of the Dead made one reach for the off button with lightening like reflexes. Some of these and others will be covered in this list, but let us take a mild diversion. Below are films that were turned off in under five minutes and undeserving of being in anyone's list, of any kind.

The following are to be burned where ever they are found: the classless Run Bitch Run by Joseph Guzman, the moronic Slasher from Frank W. Montag, the grotesque Hanger from production company Plotdigger Films (come on Vancouver - represent!), and the picture in total darkness - Hunger from Fanoria's 2010 Frightfest competition. This is not a joke; these films are absolutely terrible.

Okay, now that these absurd films are out of the way and off this movie lover's chest, let us continue with the "Worst 5 Horror Films of 2010!" If your film is on this list, hang your head low and go back to film school, or start film school, if you have not started.

5) Blood Night the Legend of Mary Hatchet by Frank Sabatella

Oh boy, where to begin? This film's plot, or lack thereof involves pre-menstrual dysmorphic disorder. Basically, one of the female character's is having a bad menstrual cycle and she then goes on a killing spree. Bill Moseley as Graveyard Guys, is introduced to break-up any pacing developed in the first half of the film. No, this horror lover is not joking. Read the flambe here: Blood Night the Legend of Mary Hatchet Review on 28DLA.

4) Poe by Francis Xavier

Knocking on this film is almost not fair, as Poe has not even received a release date. But, a screener found it's way to this critic; so, here it is on this list. Also note, that the actual film will have colour correction, which the screener did not. However, not even David Fine's (The Violent Kind) or Felissa Rose's acting could save this cinematic turd. Poor lighting, a grotesque storyline, and a wimpy protagonist make viewing this film like a bath in glass shards and mouthwash. Read the abdomen cramping review, titled "Poe and Misery" here: A Review of Poe on 28DLA.

*Okay, it is time to pause here and think of all the happy things in the world. And back...

3) The Outback aka Prey Oscar D'Roccster

Natalie Bassingthwaighte go back to singing 'cause your acting sucks and so does your choice of screenplays. You know that you are in bad company, when the main actress cannot come up with any acting talents and the director uses a fictional name - D'Roccster. This film was created from the script of a personal friend, John V. Soto, but the execution of this God awful film is comparable to a six year old sitting behind the camera. Thank you George Miller for ruining an hour and a half of my life and changing my positive outlook of humanity to one much more pessimistic. Read the royal roast on this movie eyesore, from this reviewer's critique titled "Prey and BullS^&%": Prey Reviewed.

2) Basement by Asham Kamboj

Oh Danny Dyer how your star has fallen. This actor continues to choose quantity over quality in his ever bumbling pursuit of the mighty dollar. Here, Dyer takes a break from acting as Gary, a peaceful anti-war protester. An hour and a half is spent watching four characters walk along the same four sets mumbling about nothing. Asham Kamboj's film Basement will hopefully be his last, as he feebly tries to introduce a relevant, yet confusing, message in the final five minutes of the film. Both men get two black stars in this reviewer's handbook for poor performances. A review on this film, called "Basement and Dankness," spells out the mundaneness of this garbage bound film in more detail here: Basement Dismissed on 28DLA.

1) Zombie Chronicles: The Infected by Marvin Suarez

Technically this is a short film at twenty-six minutes, but the film was so bad that it deserves the top spot on this list. In Marvin Suarez's defence, this is his first film. However, Suarez seems to have gotten his film license from a Cracker Jack box, as the lights in the film are mostly left off. Have you ever awoken in the middle of the night to complete darkness? That experience is just like watching this film! Also, some of the actors seem like they were picked up at pre-school before the shoot and hardly anything gels in this picture. This is the most avoidable film of 2010. Happy avoiding! A comedic review of this error filled film is hosted here: Zombie Chronicles Reviewed on 28DLA.

Dishonourable mentions in this category go to Case 39 starring Renee Zellweger, Brian Pulido's The Graves (strangely this one stars Bill Moseley too) the eye-rolling Apocalypse of the Dead and the Soska sisters (sorry ladies) meandering Dead Hooker in a Trunk.

*Stay tuned for a "Top Five Major Horror Releases of 2010," coming shortly.

Avoid the films mentioned above and instead search for the following:

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